When I was in high school, my friends and I often said, “What it is, what it was, what it will never be.” I was reminded of this recently when Andrew (of Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart) said something about the things that will never be. Andrew is terminally ill, so he is very aware of things that will never be. However, I think it’s a good idea for all of us to be aware of what will never be. 

Maybe T-shirt © igor | dollarphotoclub.com

The Bible tells us “Hope deferred makes the heart sick”. [Pro 13:12a ESV] This makes hoping for things that can never happen bad because it’s setting ourselves up for disappointment. Likewise for telling our wife, or our kids, something will or may happen when we know we are never really going to do it.

When I was a kid, my sister and I learned that when my father said “Maybe” what usually happened was he would later say no. I think he said maybe because he was hoping he could do whatever we asked (build a fort, go to the swimming pool, play a game), but usually he didn’t have enough time. My sister and I started replying to his “maybe” with “Maybe means no after a while.” I think that was a healthy response because it helped us avoid being disappointed, and the 4% of the time dad was later able to do what we wanted it was a nice surprise.

Start being honest with yourself, and others, about what is likely to happen in the future, and will never happen. Don’t hold out false hope, it’s cruel. 

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