If you look at porn, be it a little or a lot, consider giving your wife the gift of you no longer using porn ever again.

I realise it is not an easy gift to give. I realise it is a gift you have to keep giving for it to be worth anything to her. I know you are worried you could fail. And, you probably don’t want to give up porn. Even if you hate it, part of you enjoys it. You like how it makes you feel. You like the arousal and power porn provides. 

Most attempts to give up porn are just that, attempts. From the start, there is the thought it will not work, or it will take a number of failures before you succeeding. The reality is you can stop cold turkey and never go back. Most failures are because failure is an option from the start. 

No more - EVER! © tashatuvango | dollarphotoclub.com

Does cold turkey sound impossible? A Gallop Poll of former smokers found 48% credit going cold turkey with their success. The next most common answer, willpower, was chosen by only 8%. Various forms of nicotine replacement, including e-cigarettes, totalled only 9%. For smoking, one of the most difficult habits to kick, cold turkey is king. I believe porn is the same way. I gave up porn cold turkey at the age of 15 and did not look again for over a decade (when I looked at one magazine with Lori because she was curious). I can assure you it is neither easy nor fun, but if I could do it at 15, I think you can do it at whatever age you are today.

Making it happen

  1. Tell your wife you are stopping, right now, and forever. Tell her you do not expect to “slip” but commit to telling her if you do.
  2. Find a male accountability partner and tell him the same thing as above. Ask him to check with you regularly and not take any hedging. Also, tell him to hold you accountable to telling your wife is you mess up.
  3. Journal about your struggle. I know most men hate to journal. I also know it helps us beat things like this.
  4. Establish a reasonable definition of a slip. Unless you poke out your eyes, you are going to see things that take your mind towards porn. Temptation is not sin. You will also unintentionally land on a web page with a less than fully clothed woman, and you will certainly see links to places you know you should not go. Again, temptation is not sin. When you catch yourself looking at a mostly nude female image, look away and click away. If you did not seek it out, and get away as fast as you can, you did not slip, you triumphed. I’d share such things with your accountability partner as temptations you overcame.
  5. Keep telling yourself why you want to do this. Your list could include your wife deserves it, you want to be right with God, and you want a better sex life. 

You could also post here telling the world you are done with porn once and for all. How awesome would it be to have a couple hundred guys do that?

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