I think it’s very difficult to teach something that’s at odds with what we live. Even when someone says words that differ from their life, I think how they live sneaks into what they teach.

This is relevant if you seek marriage help from anyone. Regardless of what they’ve learned, they’re going to steer you towards a marriage that looks a lot like their marriage.

Is That A Marriage You Want to Emulate?

Before you take marriage advice (much less ministry or counsel) from someone, take a good look at their marriage and ask yourself if you want your marriage to look like their marriage some day.

BTW 1: This is why I’m a big fan of local-church-based marriage help. You can see what someone’s marriage looks like before you go to them for help.
BTW 2: This is why Lori and I talk about our marriage from time to time on our blogs. If what we have doesn’t seem like something you would want to emulate, this isn’t the place for you to get suggestions on having a better marriage!

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Get Past Her Words and Into Her Heart

February 22, 2017

Most men have an ability to tune out their wife when he feels what she’s saying is unimportant, irrelevant, or nasty. In fact, some men seem to lack the ability to listen when they feel she is doing one of these. However, ignoring her words is always a bad plan. Women see communication as connecting; […]

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Are You A Runaway?

February 21, 2017

He’s a runaway He won’t hear what she has to say He has turned away Too proud to find a way He’s a runaway ~ “She’s A Runaway” by Whiteheart | from the album Hotline This is the second chorus from a song about a teenage girl and her father, but as I listened to it […]

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True Love Cleans Up

February 20, 2017

I know the whole men are messy stereotype is far from universally true, but “I wish he would pick up after himself” is a very, very common complaint from women. I’m not a neat person. My wife is. She hasn’t been a harpy about it, but it has been an issue many times. I realise […]

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A Gift that Starts Giving After You’re Gone

February 19, 2017

I’m rerunning a post from 2011 because someone emailed me looking for it and I was surprised at how long it has been since I mentioned this. I have some bad news for every reader of this blog… We will all die.  Some of you may have 70 years left, or you might not make […]

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The Golden Rule in Bed

February 18, 2017

On Wednesday I suggested the Golden Rule doesn’t always work well in marriage. It’s even less useful in the marriage bed. While one common complaint from wives is “He’s too rough,” most men would like their wife to be a bit less timid and soft in how they touch him sexually. Men are generally more […]

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Friday Flashback: Were You the Last One Who Could Have Avoided It?

February 17, 2017

Texas has (maybe had?) an interesting traffic law – the last person who could avoid an accident was required to do so. This means, for example, if someone runs a red light when you have a green, and you see them and don’t try to stop, you will be held partially liable. The reason for […]

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Analyse How She Uses the Golden Rule

February 16, 2017

Yesterday I said the Golden Rule often fails in marriages. But it can still be a useful tool if you look at what your wife does for you that you don’t want. If she gives you something you don’t want, or something you find only marginally nice, she’s probably giving you what she wants you to give her. […]

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