Grab your bride and go for coffee (go to the 7-11 and sit in the car if necessary), or a donut, or ice cream at the local drive in.
If she likes it, make it a habit - set a regular date, or do it on a whim. Also keep it in mind for when she's down, or the two of you need to reconnect or need to discuss something.
Do you tease your bride? Nothing wrong with that, as long as you know her sensitive spots and her limits. Good natured teasing can be fun for all, but it can also easily become a problem. If you tease her about something that really bothers her, she may say nothing but feel hurt. If you tease her about something she is concerned about, she may feel you don’t take her concerns seriously.
Also be aware that there may be a few days to a week each month when you tease at your own risk!
Have you ever done the Lord's supper at home, just you and your bride? Paul told us that "as often as you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord's death till He comes." (1Co 11:26 ) So why not remember Him together as a couple as well as corporately?
Saw today that LifeStyles ® has a new non latex condom called Skyn ®. In addition to being a great thing if you or your bride are allergic to latex (ouch, ouch, ouch) the material is supposed to be very thin and designed to transmit heat well - both of which should make it feel less there than other condoms.
A couple other better sex with condom tips:
By the way, Book22 has a good selection of condoms if you are looking for something unusual, or really hate to buy them at a store.
...and he'll want sex...
My bride pulled some muscles in her back almost a week ago, and has been limited to what she can do sitting or lying down. So I've been doing all the meal preparation, clean up, dishes, laundry, shopping and so on. I do most all of these things to some degree all the time, but now I am seeing what it's like to do it ALL. What's more, I have it easy - we live in a small well organised home, and we have one son who does his share without being asked, and more than his share without complaint when asked. My "full time housewife" stint has been about as easy as it gets - and it's still rather tiring.
If your bride is an "at home mom" she is working very, very hard, and needs your help. If your bride is working outside the home, PLEASE don't expect her to do all the things needed to keep a home running as well.
I had an ah-ha moment today when I connected an e-mail I answered last night and a study I read about a few months ago. The e-mail asked if there was really harm in "looking" at other women. The study said that when we have too many choices we tend to take much longer to make a choice, and then are far less satisfied with our choice.
If I lived a couple hundred years ago, I would most likely have lived on a farm or in a small town. I'd have attended classes in a one room schoolhouse. And when my thoughts turned to marriage, I'd have had one to two dozen young women from whom to choose. But I live now, grew up in a big town, and had a graduating high school class of over 800. I had literally thousands of young ladies to choose from. Is this increased choice of woman part of why we marry so much later? Do we spend far longer choosing? More importantly, do we feel less sure when we do choose, and are we much less satisfied in the long run?
The same things would play into our sexuality. Rather than having seen one woman naked, most of us have seen hundreds or thousands. We've not had sex with that many women, but thanks to porn many of us have seen many, many women have (okay, fake having) sex. Surely this leads to us wondering if we chose right, and to great dissatisfaction with the one women we are having sex with.
I long ago set all other choices down. I won't second guess myself, or wonder what it would be like with someone else. My heart, my mind, and my sex organs belong to my wife and only my wife. All my eggs are in her one basket, and I will focus all my love and energy on her. I am what Barry Schwartz (author of The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less) calls a "Satisficer" - one who accepts their choice and is thus happier. Join me, accept your choice, your bride, as well done, and stop looking at and comparing your bride with, others.
References:
Summery of The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less
Having a wealth of options can lead to poor decision-making, experts say (LA Times)
Grab a picture of the two of you that you know (or think) she likes, and have it enlarged. A picture of you kissing or hugging is good, and a wedding picture is great. Place the picture (or poster if you go that big) some place private where she will see it regularly - the inside of the bedroom door or the closet for instance.
Today my bride and I had our teeth cleaned - same dental office, same time, in adjoining rooms. It's hardly a romantic thing, and not something that either of us was looking forward to, but for both of us it was nicer doing it together than doing it separately.
We've also donated blood together, and had insurance physicals done together. Doing things together, even things like this gives us common experiences and builds a scene of unity. I realise that this kind of thing is easier for Lori and I since we both work from home, but most of couples could probably do similar things with a bit of planning.
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