Accurate reflection, or fun-house mirror?

March 9, 2009

in Communication


We all find it difficult to see ourselves as others do. A spouse should serve as a mirror that helps us to see what others see, and especially to help us to see our blind spots.

Are you a good mirror for your bride, or are you showing her a distorted image? Are your desires, goals, priorities or fears bending you so that you are like the wavy mirrors in the fun-house? Do you have a vision of what you want her to be that you are painting on the reflections you provide? Give it some deep thought and prayer – if you don’t think you are, or have been, a good mirror, discuss it with your bride.

By the way, this works both ways. You need to know that your bride is a good mirror if you are going to act on what you see her reflecting. Same for anyone else – don’t trust what others reflect unless you are sure the mirror they provide is free of major distortions.

The Generous Husband
The Generous Husband

briantoo - I guess I was not clear, because I completely agree with you. If we paint our vision of what our bride should be on our reflecting, we are not being an honest or accurate reflection. Paul


I've never felt moved to pick a bone with you, but there's one important point I'd like to make (well, important to me, anyway!). You ask, "Do you have a vision of what you want her to be..." I don't think it honors my wife to show what -I- want her to be; that's not my choice to make. Yes, I can try to reflect what I see in her that's good and beautiful, and I do try to do that. But I also try to support her in becoming what -she- wants to be, not what I want her to be. I could (and often do!) go on, but I think that's my main point. I do appreciate the many points you raise and my awareness with it--keep on keepin' on!

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