Having “quality time” requires feeling good. If you are grumpy, tried, distracted, or otherwise not able to give your all, how can you share quality anything?
Your surroundings also matter when you spend time together. Find a peaceful place free of the distractions of your hectic lives. A room or place filled with pleasant memories primes you for more of the same.
Sometimes it takes only a small change to make a big difference. When our son was a baby, Lori and I would go sit on the front porch after he was in bed. Leaning against the door, we could hear him if he cried, but we were outside in the dark, listening to the crickets and other sounds of the night. How much better this was than being in the living room – where she felt cooped up in all day. It was also better than the bedroom where my thoughts went to things she could not enjoy until she relaxed and connected with me.
Put some thought into this, and then talk with your wife about it. A few small changes could make a big difference.