Gender differences

May 12, 2009

in Good Marriage

If you read these tips on-line, you will see a list of tags to the right. The larger a tag’s letters are, the more often I have tagged a tip as being about that. One of the largest tags is “gender-diffs”.

I’ve done a lot of study on this issue over the years, and have seen how gender differences play out in marriages – be that good, bad, or downright ugly. I get frustrated by a society that tries to silence gender differences, especially given the cold, hard science that now backs up a lot of what we all know is reality. It’s true that some of the stereotypes are garbage, and that there are almost always exceptions, but the truth is that male and female brains are very, very different, and that results in different ways of seeing things, thinking, acting, moving, feeling, and so on.

As support for my claim, I will quote from Sex on the Brain: 12 Lessons to Enhance Your Love Life by Daniel G. Amen M.D..  On Pp 74 I find the following:

“Male-female communication styles are radically different, brain based, and hardwired. Many people think these differences are culturally defined, yet they appear very stable across almost all cultures studies, and have roots in the brain.”

– and –

We expect our partners to be able to read our minds and think as we think. Unfortunately we are just not wired that way.

A few other facts from the book:

  • The limbic system, the emotional bonding center of the brain, is larger in women.
    • This makes bonding easier for women.
    • Women tend to have more friends.
    • Women go to church more and pray more.
    • Because of the larger limbic size, women suffer more depression.
  • The left side of the inferior parietal lobe is larger in men.  This part of the brain estimates time, judges speed, and visualises objects in three dimensions. A number of differences in how men and women act, and how well they do certain things, comes from this difference.
  • Due to brain differences, women are more likely to get lost, while men are less likely to realise they are lost when they are.
  • For men language is in the left side of the brain only, women have language skills on both sides. This makes women superior communicators, and superior listeners. A number of male/female differences flow from these differences.
  • Women are better at gauging the feelings of others and reading facial expressions – because the part of the brain that does these things is more developed in women.
  • Men as a whole have shorter attention spans than women – but men are better able to focus intently on one thing.
  • Due to brain differences, women have better peripheral vision, while men have better long-distance central vision, and better night vision.
  • Women have much more sensitive skin, and better noses. Men taste salty and bitter better than women, while women taste sweet better; again, because of brain differences.
  • At rest, a woman’s brain is busier than a man’s is.
  • When asked to “think of nothing” men’s brains are most active in the physical activity parts of the brain, while women’s brains are more active in areas that deal with emotion and bonding.
  • In men, exercise tends to wake the brain, while in women it tends to calm the brain.

Log-in on-line to toss out your thoughts, arguments, and grumps.

3 comments
Eleutheros
Eleutheros

AS I read through this list, 'left-braining' it, as I am want to do, I realize that, indeed, the sensations I feel from various stimulus are not as powerful for me as they are for her. In other words, chocolate is different in her mouth than in mine. And as an aside, I will add this: When we make love I am often in awe at the raw power unleashed in my precious one's orgasms; she can feel much better than I can, that's for sure!) Yet even so, as I read on, I am struck by the complimentary nature of these differences and how each can be seen to work together to make the two greater in total than just the sum of them. So it seems to me that one is not superior to the other because both need the other to be complete even as we were created to be needing each other when Jehovah split ther essence of Himself between two kinds of humans, Male and Female and after doing this said that when the two become One we resemble Him. This is how we began, so long ago in the Garden. And why these differences are a truth. Society has been willingly taught by science, so called, that we evolved from... whatever. And so it follows, logically, that if this is true then there cannot be any real diffferences between men and women. And so, to support this conclusion much science, so called, has been popularized by evolution's adherents such that far to many now want to believe a made-to-order and very convienient lie so that they can justify their conscience and continue to abuse thier sexuality with each other, even in the face of cold, hard facts, which are, as always, one kind of truth. Just some thoughts inspired by your post... Be good, then! It's what you were created to be.

djay
djay

Right on, Brother! Emmerson Eggriches says similar things in "Love and Respect". And multiple other speakers at marriage conferences. The descriptions above fit me and my wife to a T.

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