How does second hand resentment look? You feel you weren’t given what you deserved as a kid, so you’re stingy with your bride. You feel cheated at work because you didn’t get the promotion, or raise, so you don’t give your bride the encouragement and support she deserves. Basically it’s refusing to give others more than you have been given. And, unless you are a real jerk, it’s not intentional and you do it without being aware of it. The key then is to become aware of things that might cause you to act this way, and go out of your way to give to your spouse when you feel cheated.