When you’re uptight about sex, it has a very negative effect on your bride, and on her interest in being sexual with you. I used to think I was good at hiding my sexual frustration, but I’ve learned that my bride often is aware even before I am that I am feeling uptight or sexually in need. That means hiding it is useless at best, and likely more harmful than being open and honest.
I realise that the frustration that comes from wanting more than she does is not helped by talking about it over and over; but being open and honest can still help. Part of the problem is that we often do not clarify what we want – just saying “MORE!” does not provide much useful information, and “More of anything” makes us sound like we are just sex starved animals with no love or caring. Being honest about our emotional feelings as well as the physical is a good thing to work on.
It may also help to be honest about your frustration, and the way it may cause you to act. For example, saying “Don’t mind me, I’m grumpy about sex” tells her that you are aware of the situation, and that it may be making you less than enjoyable to be with. Rather than just being mad at her for not being there for you, you have taken responsibility for how you responded to that situation.