About a decade ago, my bride decided she wanted to become very generous. She also decided that she should start at home – with me and our two children. I should let you know that she was not lacking in love and selflessness at this time, so this was not a massive about face for her. But she did make some substantial changes, some immediately, some over time.
Lori did not tell me what she had purposed to do, she just started doing it. It took several weeks for me to realise something was up (I probably initially passed it off as a nice hormonal effect 
). When I asked her about it she initially tried to side step the issue – when I persisted she told me about her decision.
My first thought was LUCKY ME! My second thought was a very male thing – “anything she can do, I can do better”.
Actually, as I thought about it, I realised that without even knowing what she was up to, I have started to be more generous to her. I think this is human nature – only the most wounded or selfish of us can receive love, kindness, and generosity without giving back in kind. But actually trying to “out generous” my bride has been a very difficult task. By my estimation she is far better at it that I – she would argue that point, but honestly I feel she is more giving than I am the great majority of the time.
A few years later, my bride expressed a desire to start a daily e-mail list to send generous tips and reminders to other wives. Not to be outdone, I set up list for men when I set up hers. And so, Sunday July 15, 2001, The Generous Husband tip list was born.
Has doing these tips changed me? Most certainly! I have become even more of a people watcher, always looking for positive things to use as tips, and negative things to warn others to avoid. I’ve also been challenged to practice what I preach – before I preach it. Several tips have spent weeks or months in the pending queue until I felt I was doing at least a half-way decent job of applying the tip in my own marriage. Doing these tips has also made me more aware of the differences in individuals and marriages. There are exceptions to virtually everything – there is always a wife who thinks or feels differently than the vast majority, a husband who does not struggle with something most of us do, and a husband who has difficulties most men don’t.
