About twenty five years ago, my bride decided she wanted to become extraordinarily generous. She also decided she should start at home – with our two children and me. Please understand she was not then lacking in love or selflessness, so this was not a massive about face for her. However, she did make some substantial changes, some immediately, and others over time.
Lori did not tell me what she had purposed to do – she just started doing it. It took several weeks for me to realise something was up (I probably passed it off as a nice hormonal effect :roll: ). When I asked her about it she initially tried to side step the issue – when I persisted she told me about her decision.
My first thought was LUCKY ME! My second thought was a male thing – “anything she can do, I can do better”.
Actually, as I thought about it, I realised without even knowing what she was up to I had started being more generous to her. I think it’s human nature; only the most wounded or selfish can receive love, kindness, and generosity and not give back in kind. Trying to “out generous” my bride has been a difficult task. By my estimation she is far better at it than I am. She would argue the point, but honestly, I feel she is more giving than I am much of the time.
A few years later, my bride expressed a desire to start a daily e-mail list to send generous tips and reminders to wives. Not to be outdone, I set up a blog for men when I created her blog. And so, Sunday July 15, 2001, The Generous Husband blog was born.
Has doing this blog changed me? Most certainly! I have become even more of a people watcher, always looking for positive things to use as tips and negative things to warn others to avoid. I have also been challenged to practice what I preach – before I preach it. Several posts have spent weeks or months in the pending queue until I felt I was doing a halfway decent job of applying it in my own marriage. Writing about marriage has made me more aware of the differences in individuals and marriages. There are exceptions to almost everything. There is always a wife who thinks or feels differently than the vast majority, a husband who does not struggle with something most of us do, and a husband who has difficulties most men do not.