A generous reader wrote:
A few years ago I was the defendant in a litigation. The first day in the court room the litigant was give their testimony. I was amazed at what was said. The story was just not correct. Even my wife was shocked to hear their interpretation of the events.
Later I spoke with my attorney and told him what she said was not true. I will never forget his response: He said “It may not be true but they believe it to be true”. He told me he had practice law for over 40 years and he has learned one thing about people is we intemperate events in a way that protects us. So in telling what happened in a situation, we see the event in a way that will not make us look bad.
I then asked that if all people do that then is he saying I do too? He said yes. It got me thinking how I look at events and how to be honest in how I respond because I don’t want to be the guy that looks in the mirror and then walks away forgetting what I saw.
In marriage sometimes my spouse is holding the mirror. I need to be in tune and truthful in everything I do and say not to protect me, but to change me. To let God mould me.
So when my wife tells an event I listen more and ask more questions to see how she interpreted the event instead of challenging her.