It seems science has found a way to prove revenge doesn’t make us feel better – even though we think it will. (See Revenge is sweet but corrosive)
Of course we all know getting revenge on our wife is a bad plan, but I suspect many of us find ways of doing it we can deny to ourselves. (Or am I just projecting?) Do you ever say no to something because she said no to something completely unrelated a few days ago? Do you drag your feet, or delay making decisions, to punish her for things she has done to upset you?
Your secret revenge isn’t making you feel as good as you think, and it’s injecting negative things into your marriage. You, and your marriage, would be far better off in the long run if you either gently confront her on things, or let them go without comment or action. Which is right for any given situation depends on you, on her, and one how big the “offence” is.