Some times the best service you can offer is to do nothing at all.
Some folks have a need to do certain things, or to do certain things in certain ways. It's not about it being done they way they want it done, but about them doing it. Be it a sense of accomplishment or that doing certain things calms or cheers them up, they need to be the one to do it.
Ask your bride if there are things she want or needs to do. And let her know if you have things you want or need to do.
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one of the hardest challenges I have with supporting my wife is knowing when she wants help and when she wants to accomplish for herself whatever it is that she’s attempting. Constant communication and figuring out what when wrong when it did are a huge part of making it better!
Comment by skypilot39b — July 16, 2009 @ 4:10 am
One further thought. What she does not mind sharing today, she may not want to share next month or year.
We used to alternate weeks of cooking when we were ‘before children’, but after the children came along, she felt that SHE needed to be the primary cook and I took only Saturday or on request duties in the kitchen.
Now that the kids are in college, it’s often, ‘fend for yourself’. She cooks for herself and I cook for myself, with some meals arranged by either of us.
DJ
Comment by djay — July 16, 2009 @ 3:00 pm