There are those who try explain everything about living creatures in terms of how it increases or decreases an organisms ability to pass on it’s genes. The idea is that in the long term, only things that improve the ability or chance to procreate are kept, and that means everything we are is a result of that concept. It is interesting to how these folks argue about the clitoris, and female orgasm. While there is some limited evidence that having an orgasm may slightly imporve the chance or conception, the reality is history is full women who had many children and never had an orgasm. Some have explained the clitoris, and thus female orgasm, as a happy accident that results from the fact that male and female genitals come from the same embryonic tissue. Based on this, she can have an orgasm for the same reason you have nipples. The “accident” part of this is because some of our parts don’t show up on both men and women – the uterus and vagina for example are lacking.
As I already said, I see abundant evidence that there is an intelligence, and purposeful creator behind our bodies. Based on that, our body parts, and what they can do, are never an accident – rather they are an indication of what God intended. So, what does the clitoris and female orgasm suggest God intended?
First a few facts/observations about female sexual ability. Female orgasms can last much longer than the male version – 2 to 4 times as long. Men can have a very limited number of climaxes in a short time, whereas women are theoretically able to have far more. Prior to menopause, woman have a cyclical sex drive – growing from the start of menstruation to a peak about two weeks later, then a large drop, followed by another building to a second peak just before menstruation. Women can have, and enjoy, sex when they are pregnant, during menstruation, and after menopause. While a woman who ignores sex will have a drop in drive, a woman who becomes more sexual, and/or thinks more about sex, will have an increase in drive. For women sex is a part of the whole relationship – they find it hard to want or enjoy sex when the relationship had problems, and they can want a great deal of sex when the relationship is good.
From this I conclude that God intened:
- Women to enjoy sex a lot – and physically to enjoy it more than men.
- God designed women’s sexuality to push a couple to work on their relationship, to make it good, so sex will be good.
- God intended women to want and enjoy sex from puberty to very old age.
- God wanted our sex lives to have variety – times of can’t get enough, and times of deep satisfaction.
I realise that many of you are dealing with a wife who has been harmed sexually – by abuse and or negative and wrong ideas from both society and the church. The damage such a woman has suffered makes it impossible for her to want or feel what God intended. I understand this – I married such a woman. I can’t tell you that it will change for sure, and I can’t tell you that change will be as fast as you would like, but I can tell you from experience that even a deeply injured woman can learn to want and enjoy sex a great deal.
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Mega Dittos there. About that last paragraph: in the not-too-distant past, the church severely dropped the ball when it came to its approach (its “doctrine” if you will) regarding sexuality, especially when it came to teaching youth. The only message received was “keep it zipped up. It is bad, and it’s not open for discussion.” As a result, well, look how many former youth group members are raising kids alone. Not to mention, how many married couples struggle sexually because of the church’s inappropriate handling of it. I think I was among the first age bracket (born in 1979) where youth groups began a healthier approach to this. I was taught “sex is great when it is only in the context of marriage. Ask any question you want, but in the words of Song of Solomon, “do not awaken love before it so desires.” Yes, the adults have to actually come to terms with talking to their kids about sex, but marriages are healthier because of it!