Last week I was away from my bride overnight; something we do very rarely. She picked me up at the airport, and we stopped at a restaurant – but not because either of us was hungry. She had an appetiser, I had dessert, and we sat together talking and reconnecting. It was the talking, and looking at each other, and holding hands across the table, that were the point of the stop. With that very important thing done, we were both ready for another kind of reconnecting when we got home.
Most women (not all, but most) can’t feel sexual after a separation until they connect on an emotional level by TALKING. Without the talking, she can have sex, but odds are she’ll just be doing it for you, and not get much out of it.
This gives you two choices: Find the time she needs to connect before having sex, or have a quickie for you and then give her what she needs. Both approaches are fine, but one will likely work better for your marriage.