Ever worry about lasting long enough? Odds are your bride has a similar concern, but it looks different from her vantage point; she’s worried about taking too long.
At best time pressure reduces her pleasure; at worst it prevents her from having an orgasm at all. Studies have found being relaxed is critical for a woman to climax, and worrying about how long she’s taking makes it take longer. Even if she’s able to get there, she may push to climax quickly, and without a good long build up her orgasm is weaker.
So tell her to take her time. Tell her you want sex to last longer, you want to give her the chance to fully enjoy, and you want to learn to enjoy the “journey” as well as the “destination”. (And trust me, the getting there can be fantastic!)
How do you actually do this? Slow down; slow way down. Kiss a lot more before you touch below the neck. Spend some time kissing and touching her breasts before you go below the waist. When you get between her legs, go light and don’t make a bee-line for her vagina or clitoris – touch the inside of her legs and stroke her vulva as a whole. Rather than moving to each “next step” as soon as she’s ready, make her want, even ache for, the next step.
Next, don’t jump at the first hint she’s ready for intercourse. In fact, ignore hints, and when she flat out asks, continue what you’re doing a bit longer. Tell her you’re willing when she’s ready, but only when she is really ready
If she generally doesn’t climax during intercourse, take care of her first – s l o w l y. Don’t be in a hurry so you can get to what you want; take your time, and let her know you’re going to take your time. Show her, by doing it repeatedly, that you will give her as long as she wants, rather than just barely as long as she needs. Don’t hold her off when she is ready, but teach her you are not in a hurry.
Will all this time of foreplay mean you can’t last as long? While it seems that way, the truth is often the exact opposite – especially if you let her touch you some along the way. Taking it slow can actually help you last. Your body will adjust to the arousal level, and it may become easier to avoid suddenly being too close.