Anticipation

August 29, 2009

in Sexuality

Anticipation can make something much better – or much worse. Anticipating something you enjoy is a pleasure in and of it’s self, and makes the event even better when you do it.  On the other side, anticipating something that is sometimes difficult leads to worry, and  it can set up the event for failure before it even starts.

If your bride enjoys sex, anticipating sex is good, and it makes the sex better. If sex is ever difficult, sexual anticipation is probably more negative, and can easily sabotage the event before it happens.  So, act accordingly –

If she generally enjoys sex: talk about wanting her, and gently tease her about what will happen when you are alone. Fine her comfort level and don’t push her too far,but build her mental and physical excitement with words and little actions.

If sex is sometimes difficult for her: less talk about sex is better, as it reduces her anxiety about sex. Don’t tell her you want her later, that will likely start something in her mind that is destructive. However, if you find she has a problem with having sex “sprung on her” at the last minute, try to figure out what advanced notice helps her be ready without giving her time to negatively anticipate.

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