I’m sorry you misunderstood what I said and got upset

September 2, 2009

in Acts of Service, Communication

“I’m sorry you misunderstood what I said and got upset!”

Ever felt like saying that to your bride? You said something, she heard something that was not there (really, really was not there) and got upset. Even if she believes you didn’t mean what she read into it, she’s still hurt. You want to apologise, but for what? For her past, that causes her to hear something someone else said that you don’t even think? On the other hand, you don’t want to imply you were at fault because that would be dishonest.

How about “I’m sorry what I said hurt you – what I meant was …”

Or maybe even better: “I can see how you would have thought I meant [whatever], I’m sorry my words hurt you. Let me try again.”

1 comments
Eleutheros
Eleutheros

Too, fuunny! My precious one and I got into a little tete-a-tete yesterday and in trying to make my point I said some words about something she is sensitive about that she immediately mis-took. She was quite hurt over my words and angry. So, rather than continuing on with emotions high I told her we'll talk later. She went and cried and I did the dishes to give me time to think and to let OUR emotions dissipate; for I was none to pleased with her. Then when I felt better and knew I was calm again, I went and apologised to her exactly as you said. She said, "I know you didn't mean to hurt me. I trust you". Which goes back to my post yesterday. We trust each other and that makes a lot of difference when things like this happen. Because it's a truth that trust is easily given but not so easily earned. What you just described here, Paul, is humility. And no human can be a good human without it. And so be good! Just like you were created to be!

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