I have the tip I promised yesterday, it will run on Monday. I hope this is not seen as bait and switch, but I see what follows as the most important step to improving sex – or anything else!
2) Pray again.
3) Keep praying.
We’re told to pray in agreement with God and with His will. If we pray anything else, and especially if we pray the opposite of God’s will, we shouldn’t expect anything good to come of it.
So what is God’s will for your sex life? It’s not for your wife to imitate porn, or become a raging nymphomaniac. It’s also not just about what happens between your legs; it’s about your mind, emotions, relationship, and even (I think) about something spiritual. All of that said, God’s will for your sexuality is probably far bigger and better than you can imagine. God didn’t make our sex organs capable of extreme pleasure just so we would have children. His very design tells me He wants us to enjoy sex, and to enjoy it more, in quality and quantity, than most of us have ever dared to hope for.
So what do you pray? Pray for God’s will in all areas of your marriage, and especially in your marriage bed. Believe that living out His will for your sex life will be far better and more pleasurable than anything you would ever come to from your understanding. Pray for His will, trusting that you and your bride will both be deeply blessed by it. Then surrender your own expectations, desires, preferences and hopes. Ask the Lord to remove anything He wants to remove and put in you the desires He intended. Ask Him to do the same for your bride – without letting your past or your expectations colour what that will look like.
Then keep praying – day after week after month. Ask the Lord to make the changes in you that you don’t know you need, and the changes in your bride that she may not want. Trust Him to be able to work on both of you, and know that your primary duty is to pray and be open to God changing you to conform to his will.
NOTE: Due to some problems now resolved, the Friday tip did not make it to most who read by e-mail. You can read that tip here.