One of you wrote saying his wife is very worried about being heard while making love. I’ve heard this often, and for various reasons; young couple living with one set of parents, one or more elderly parents living with the couple, teens who stay up late, or other people old enough to know what “those noises” mean. It’s vital to find a solution; if it goes on for long the fear of being heard will harm not only your sex life but your relationship as a whole. A few ideas, divided into noise reduction, cover noise, and other things:
- If the bed makes noise, figure out why:
- If the frame is noisy, tighten in.
- If the headboard hits the wall, put something between them to pad it – a towel or foam. Secure to the back of the headboard if needed.
- If the bed has wheels that cause problems remove them or put rubber or felt foot pads under them
- If you can’t fix the noise, try alterations to reduce noise:
- Try laying with your head where your feet go.
- Try her on top.
- Try her on top with your feet against the headboard or wall to reduce bed movement.
- If the bed is hopeless, hit the floor:
- A folded blanket makes a fast pallet.
- A piece of foam or a couple of sleeping bags kept under the bed make a nicer place to lay and play.
- If this is a long-term situation, consider a mat or pad you can keep under the bed.
Cover noise. Use these not just when you’re having sex, as it then becomes a signal you’re having sex and she’ll feel uptight about that. Make a point of running the cover noise when only one of you is in the bedroom, or when the door is open
- Put an air purifier near your door – look for one that is NOT quiet.
- Run an oscillating or box fan.
- Run the central AC or furnace on fan setting.
- Get a white noise machine.
- Play background music (non-vocal).
- Alter your love making time. Even if the house is never empty, having sex while those who are home are doing something like watching TV will ensure you’re not heard.
- Rent a hotel. With an online find-a-deal service you can find a low rate – especially last minute. Let folks know you’re going out for a date, just don’t tell them what you’ll be doing.
- Have sex in the shower – the water will cover any noise. Intercourse is tricky and potentially risky, but manual and oral can be done nicely.