Learn to share information with your bride

September 14, 2009

in Communication

The Article “Why Groups Fail to Share Information Effectively” may not, on first reading, seem to have anything to do with marriage. But if you think of your marriage as a very small group, it does apply.  The sentence that jumped out at me in the article was “When asked to make a group decision, instead of sharing vital information known only to themselves, people tend to repeat information that everyone already knows.

Does your bride do this? Rather than speaking her mind, or sharing something you don’t know or haven’t considered, does she just repeat what you’ve said? Or, do you ever do the same, repeating what she’s said, even though you have other information or ideas?

It seems to be human nature to play it safe in this way. Offering anything different is taking a risk; your idea might be rejected, you could be seen as silly or stupid, or maybe a different idea will upset the other person. On the other hand, the more information on the table, the better your chance of making a good decision.

If you know or suspect your bride holds back, think about what you might have done to encourage this behaviour. Or it might have nothing to do with you. Either way, take steps to ensure you get good information from her. If you tend to hold back, make a  change. Offer additional information gently and as “just for consideration”.

If you can’t make changes on this alone, discuss it with your bride and talk about what needs to happen to ensure you both have access to all the information available to either or you.

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