Before it makes you irritable

September 18, 2009

in Communication

This is a follow up to a comment on yesterday’s tip.

prov9_18_19 said: I realize that I have preferences with cleanliness. But I also know that too much clutter in particular places makes me irritable and I can’t stand to be in certain rooms in the house.”

It is certainly important to know our limits, and to learn to deal with things before we get to the point of being irritated, upset, distant, or otherwise something our bride should not have to put up with. We also have to learn how much being tired or stressed lowers the threshold on these things, so we can avoid being blind sided.

The real issue is learning how to communicate these things in a loving and fair way. One thing that has helped my bride and I is learning to give examples that mean something to the other. For example – I have very good ears, and rattling sounds in the car drive me nuts. My bride on the other hand finds it very easy to tune out such noises. A noise that does bother her is noisy eating. So when I got very focused on finding a noise on a long drive, and she felt I was too obsessed, I said “Imagine a long ride with someone eating in your ear the whole way.”  She replied that would not happen, as she would throw the person from the car, and she clearly had a better understanding of why it bothered me so much.

1 comments
prov9_18_19
prov9_18_19

That is indeed the tricky part. I tried to put up with it as long as I could, but realized that she didn't need me stomping around the house, picking thing up ...uh, roughly, shall we say? Because that would happen. So I try to head things off and either try to get things picked up myself, before I fly off, or mention to her, "If you have time, this (xyz) is really bothering me." And she understands. I've got a great wife. BTW, is there a way I can get my username changed? It should be prov5_18_19. Prov9_18_19 just doesn't make sense. :P

Previous post:

Next post: