Forgive – repeat

September 23, 2009

in 1 + 1 = 1, Communication

It seems to me that forgiveness sometimes takes a number of times to get all the way down inside.  I’m not talking about the choice we make to forgive, but the feelings that so often don’t immediately follow that choice.  Sometimes it seems like forgiving the same thing several times is needed, with each time moving me farther down the road to feeling what I think I should feel – or maybe more accurately not feeling what I know I should no longer feel. It just seems, sometimes, that it takes several times to dig down through the various layers and deal with all of the hurt, resentment, and so on.

The other side of this is feeling forgiven.  I might be fully forgiven, really, totally, and yet not feel I am, or should be. This is probably because I have not forgiven myself for what I did; but whatever the reason, there things I have asked my bride to forgive me for that I had to ask a number of times before I felt it was really dead and buried.

If any of this seems valid in your marriage, then I suggest you and your bride discuss it and decide if it’s okay to ask more than once for forgiveness, or offer forgiveness more than once.

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