This is more than a head rub, this is the kind of thing one gets at a spa. Start by buying or making a scalp massage oil (yes, really). You can use sweet almond oil, or jojoba oil alone, or as a base to which you add an essential oil (most “health food” stores will have these products). Commonly used essential oils for scalp massage include chamomile, peppermint, lavender, rosemary, and rose. Add 10 to 20 drops of essential oil to one cup (or 250 ml) of base oil (Peppermint is very strong, so use no more than 10 drops). You can also mix the essential oil with water – less messy but not as good for her hair. The goal is to apply oil to her scalp, not her hair. This means you will use a small amount of oil. Place all ten fingers on her scalp, and move your fingers slowly in small circles.
Oil should be applied to recently washed but dry hair. Have her lay face up on the bed, with her head hanging off the end. The more she can comfortably hang her head down, the better. Depending on the height of your bed, sit on the floor, on a stool, or on a chair. A towel under her shoulder will protect the bed, and another on the floor will catch drips. Start by brushing her hair – all of it, from root to tip. Then apply oil to your fingers and start at the forehead. Press firmly, and move the skin over the skull. Add oil as needed, and slowly move over her entire head. A scalp massage is very relaxing, and is a very safe touch for most women, so give her as long as she likes. When you’re done, wrap a warm dry towel (run it in the dryer or the microwave) around her hair and let the oil sit for fifteen minutes or more. (Use the time to massage her feet, very slowly).