Dr. Trina Read, the author of this article, suggests that “too tired for sex” may just be an easy excuse.
I certainly think that we as a society are way too busy and way too tired, and I think both of those harm our relationships in general and our marriages in particular, but I must agree for the most part with Dr. Read. As I said recently, a lack of time means a lack of relationship, and I think that relationship lack does far more to limit sex than tiredness ever could.
Dr. Read points out that sex when tired can be good – and good for you. I concur – we’ve had some great sex when we were both very tired. If you have the relationship part working, sex can be easy and enjoyable even when you are exhausted.
On a related note, I know that when we guys are tired, we are more tempted to masturbate for “quick, simple relief”. We are also more susceptible to the lure of porn when we are tired. Relationship lack also makes these two things more likely. I suspect some guys like to hear “I’m too tired” from their bride on occasion, as they think it gives them an excuse for self-centered solo sex and/or some porn use.
All that said, if either of you is saying “too tired” with any regularity, it’s a problem. Be it that you really are too tired or it is a safe excuse, it’s hurting your relationship in many ways.
NOTE: Dr. Read is new to me, but after checking her site I see her to be both sex and marriage positive.