It’s all about attitude

October 13, 2009

in Good Marriage

The following was sent to my wife by a not yet married lady:

“In observing several different marriages of couples I am close to, I have found attitude to be one of the biggest factors of the relationship. If the couple has a negative predisposition towards each other, everything they say or do follows that. I don’t think the attitude of generosity is something we just feel. I think it is a choice.” – Tirzah

This young lady has learned a vital lesson about marriage!  YES – it is a CHOICE! We choose to either find the best in others, or to find something less than the best (maybe we even look for the w0rst.)  We choose to overlook and forgive, or nit-pick and hold a grudge. Any of us has the choice to make our spouse seem better or worse, to feel blessed or cursed, no matter how good or bad our spouse might be. By choosing to not attack when attacked, and choosing to not return rudeness or anger in kind, we can make a bad situation less bad.  By choosing to support and encourage, we can make a good situation great.

So – choose ye this day!

1 comments
robhulson
robhulson

It certainly is a choice, and it's not always easy. However, it sounds like this choice occurs in a kind of vacuum. How can I make those right choices more consistently? That's the question I keep coming back to in my marriage. Eph 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. This reminds me to get my forgiveness from God first, to keep bringing myself back to the Gospel. And when I keep fighting to feel my need for His forgiveness and generosity, it isn't nearly as much of a stretch to want to choose to bestow that on my spouse. So the choice needs to be made, but I'm starting to labor much more in being the kind of person for whom the choice is an easy yoke, and the burden is a light one.

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