Archive for December, 2009

Make your bride a platinum points wife.

Thursday, December 31st, 2009

My bride and I are at a Hyatt Place hotel for a couple of days, and we are being treated like royalty.  Free upgrade to a suite, edible goodies in the room, offer of a loaner laptop at no charge, hand written welcome in our room, and everyone bending over backwards for us.  Why the special treatment? Because of our gold point status.  (No, I don't spend that much at Hyatt, it's a perk of doing conference planning for the day job. And BTW, I like what Hyatt Place offers for the price enough to spend my own coin on it.) I can hardly what to see what more they can do for us when we make platinum!

So I'm thinking, maybe I need to grant my bride platinum point status - and treat her accordingly.


Note - a big thanks to those of you who have sent donations in the last few weeks (real thank you's when we get home).  If you want to make a donation and have it counted as a 2009 tax deduction, it must be post dated December 31st or before, or done on-line before midnight Pacific Standard time December 31st.  We also desire your prayers - we can't do this without that!

From where do you speak?

Wednesday, December 30th, 2009

My Bride recently wrote thefollowing about me:

With Paul it is truly easy. He's good about saying things kindly and he's usually full of praise, so any harder statements or suggestions are no big deal and come from someone who likes me.

I say this not to brag (this was not always as true as I would like), but to ask you from what position you speak to your bride.  If she feels you love and support her, if she hears you praise her often, then saying something "harder" is eaier to take than if she does not feel this way about you.

Granted, how she feels about you may not be a true reflection of how you think and feel.  And it may not be a true reflection of how you currently treat her.  But unless she has some significant past trauma, the blame for how she feels is ultimatly at your feet.  And unless she needs help dealing with something that predates her time with you, then only you can change how she feels.

I’m entitled

Tuesday, December 29th, 2009

Ever had one of those days when you worked your butt off, and because of that you thought you were entitled to a pass on some chore, or a promise, or just on being a civil person?

Yes, I had one of those days, and yes, I started down that road, but I caught myself and chased my wife away from the sink so I could do the dishes.  Maybe next time I will catch it even sooner!

Note - a test post seemed to work earlier today, so I think the blog is working again.

Is this thing on? Testing, testing?

Monday, December 28th, 2009

Hi Gents,

Sorry for dropping out you y'all.  I spent most of Saturday updating the five WordPress installs that I manage, and building a sixth.  All seemed well until I went to post a tip, and I found that the Generous Husband blog had some significant problems.  I think it's all fixed now - this will serve as a test post to verify that e-mail and RSS are working correctly.  BTW, in getting things fixed the cookie code was changed - so if you had "log me in automatically" set you will have to log in again now.

To manage a tip out of this - the problem seems to have come from some very old code that was still hidden away here.  When this blog was built, it was run from the server via a backdoor so that the old system could stay active till I was ready to switch over.  When I switched over, I failed to remove one reference to the way the system was set up and tested.  That code sat there, forgotten, for months, surviving through a number of updates.  Then unexpectedly an update stumbled over that code and made a big  mess.  I had to find and remove that old reference, and then do some fixing.

Do you have any "old code" or "old references" in your memory?  Things long forgotten that seem to be unimportant until some event trips you, or your bride, over that old code?  It can be a word, a look, a question - something that taps that old memory and unleashes a flood of pain, hurt, anger, or some other undesired thing.

It's tempting to think these things can be buried and forgotten.  It's easy to rationalise that dealing with these things is a bad idea - let sleeping dogs lie as it were.  Trust me, these things have a way of getting you, and they usually do it at the worst possible time.  Rather than being at the mercy of the unknown, find a good time to deal with things that could come back to get you.

Make notes

Friday, December 25th, 2009

As this tip is time sensitive, I am doing it today, and the continuation of the "How do you get an uninterested or unwilling wife to have more sex?" series will be done tomorrow.

Spend a bit of time thinking about how the holidays have gone - what was good, what was bad, what should have been done that was not, what was done that should not have been done - and anything else that could be improved.  Then make notes about this for next year, and put them where you will find them at the appropriate time.

The reason

Friday, December 25th, 2009

To those of you who know the reason for the season, be blessed.

For those who do not know Him, I pray I have been a better example of His love than what you think of when you think of "Christians" - and be blessed.

To those who would tell me that Christmas is not about Jesus, I would say two things - I choose for it to be about Him in my life, and be blessed.


I pray you all have a safe Christmas, and that your family is a bigger blessing than you expect.

Paul

Something new

Thursday, December 24th, 2009

During the next 72 hours, try to do something for your wife you have rarely or never done before.  If nothing comes to mind, clean a toilet.

The gift of thanks

Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009

It's free, it always fits, and it's always welcome - be sure to give thanks for gifts, and for time spent cleaning, cooking, wrapping, and so on.

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