From where do you speak?

December 30, 2009

in Communication

My Bride recently wrote the following about me:

With Paul it is truly easy. He’s good about saying things kindly and he’s usually full of praise, so any harder statements or suggestions are no big deal and come from someone who likes me.

I say this not to brag (this was not always as true as I would like), but to ask you from what position you speak to your bride.  If she feels you love and support her, if she hears you praise her often, then saying something “harder” is eaier to take than if she does not feel this way about you.

Granted, how she feels about you may not be a true reflection of how you think and feel.  And it may not be a true reflection of how you currently treat her.  But unless she has some significant past trauma, the blame for how she feels is ultimately at your feet.  And unless she needs help dealing with something that pre-dates her time with you, then only you can change how she feels.

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