Interesting story here about human nature and something called “moral licensing”. In short, the idea is that doing things seen as good results in folks being more likely to do things that are “bad”. It’s sort of like a bank account – the more “good credit” you have amassed, the less you worry about spending some of that in the form of being rude, dishonest, or apathetic.
I wonder if this partly explains the people who are seen as moral, just, friendly and all around great people at work, but are none of those things at home. Or those folks who are known as fantastic missionaries overseas, but their families just want them to go back overseas?
As much of this is not conscious, you will need to examine yourself carefully to see if you are guilty. Also, remember that the Bible says we must start by being good and loving to those closest to us – only then are we qualified to minster to others.