No Kid Zone

February 16, 2010

in Quality Time

I know some violently disagree with me on this, but I think it is important for every couple that their bedroom be a no kid zone. That means the kids don’t go there, and short of an emergency don’t go seeking their parents when they are in the bedroom. (Obviously, this will vary with the age of the kids, and with the layout of the home.)  Some of the reasons for a no kid bedroom:

  • A place for each parent to get a break. No matter how much you love and enjoy your kids, there are times you need a break.
  • A place for the couple to be together without the kids.  Same as above, but for the marriage, and vital to the long-term health of the marriage.
  • Makes the bedroom different in the minds of the couple, and that can help intimacy (including but not limited to the sexual kind).
  • Teaches the kids that marriage is something special and unique – something to cherish, work at, and protect. BTW, when kids feel their parent’s marriage is solid, they don’t worry about them getting a divorce, which is a big plus for the kids.

Along these lines, a funny story from a friend – They told their kids not to knock on the door of the bedroom unless there was a fire.  So, when a knock occurred at a most inopportune time, dad was pretty upset.  He opened the door and said “Where is the …” at which point he was stopped by the smoke he saw billowing towards him!  (No real damage, but it was close.)

2 comments
trinawalker
trinawalker

This is very important- no doubt. Once it gets started, it is very hard to break. I am so glad that my husband and I never had our kids in our bed.

matthy
matthy

I totally agree on all accounts. Kids had been in our bedroom only on very rare occasions (like "emergencies") - for instance once we had a heavy lightning and a power-cut followed, or one woke up with a bad dream - so they stayed for a few moments (less than an hour) in our bed. Otherwise it's a no-go area. Parents who do not train their small kids to stay in their own bed do neither them nor themselves a favor. It's purely weakness in most cases, I think.

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