Had some comments both on-line and via e-mail about my Love your enemies – and your bride post last week. I realise that the passages I used are about an enemy, not a spouse – but shouldn’t our spouse be treated even better than we are told to treat those who don’t like us? Scriptural commands such “love your neighbour as yourself”, “prefer one another” and “do unto others” take it even further – and pretty much wipe out any excuse for selfishness or putting our bride’s wants/needs/dreams below our own.
All that said, I do realise that there are women who will no doubt take advantage of a man who does these things. Give more, and she will ask for more. Put up with something, and she will get even worse. Certainly, we are not to be doormats, and certainly we are not called to endlessly put up with sinful behaviour aimed at us. I don’t know where to draw that line, but based on what I see in the scriptures I would think we do well to err on the side of being the one wronged.
Finally, I don’t see this as being a headship issue – except that those who lead are supposed to set an example, and are supposed to server, not rule.
Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:
Valentine’s Day is Over. Now What? Stu had some good thoughts on Love as a lifestyle
Money Help: Just in time for Valentine’s Day – This post by Lori Lowe points out that financial problems hurt marriages
Money Help: Become a Financially Free Couple – Follow up to the post above, with some great help links
The Nice Guy Syndrome – Cory covers a growing problem – men who are ‘too nice”. Good stuff.
Thirty Ways to Love Your Lover – Excellent article by Dennis Rainey