From Seth Godin a while back:
“In most interactions, we take a defensive posture. We try to defend the brand, or our turf or our job. The problem with defense is that it’s static. The best way to get smarter, to embrace and to cause change and to triumph in times of market turmoil is to adopt the scientific method.
Ask yourself, ‘what do I believe that’s wrong? How can I change the way I do things? What works? What doesn’t?'”
I would say we do the same in our marriage – we defend the way things are, the way we do have always done things. I think this is particularly true of men – we tend to want our home life to run smoothly, and that means the status quo, consistency, what is known and comfortable. However, blindly following this course means our bride is stuck, even if she wants or needs something to change. I’ve seen more than a couple of men ignore their wife’s growing frustration, not acknowledging it till she does something drastic.
So I would echo Seth – and ask you to regularly ask your wife “What do you think is wrong? How can we change the way we do things? What works? What doesn’t?”