When I say, “Take responsibility for your own mess”, I don’t mean the mess you left in the kitchen, or on the bedroom floor (although doing that is certainly a good and loving thing). I mean the messes in your thinking and emotions. You know, those things that are a result of something in your past – places where you don’t react as most folks would, and your reaction is neither healthy nor loving.
Sure, you should expect your loving bride to cut you some slack where you are wounded, just as you do for her (you do cut her some slack where she is wounded, right?), but that does not free you from the responsibility to work on those things.