Brief touch packs a punch

March 5, 2010

in Physical Touch

Interesting round up here of the way brief touch can change how people think, feel and act. Makes me wonder about the effect of not touching, or more specifically of touching less – what does that communicate?

I have noticed, both in myself and in others, that we tend to withhold touch when we are upset or stressed – when, for example, we are in conflict with our spouse. Maybe it’s a way of showing our displeasure, maybe it’s punishment, maybe it’s just self protection. Regardless of why we do it, the result is counter-productive to building a good strong marriage.  Touch helps to calm us.  Touch makes us feel trust, and trust connects us. When we are at odds, we need those things.

All of this reminds me of advice I once heard for couples – when you fight (have an argument) do it holding hands.  Not an easy task – holding hands with someone you are upset with. Holding hands goes against our desire to assert ourselves, to protect our own interests, to get our way.  On the other hand, is your goal if to bless your bride, and be a better husband, that all sounds good.


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