Imaginary and impractical

March 11, 2010

in Romance

Main Entry: 1ro·man·tic *
Pronunciation: \rō-ˈman-tik, rə-\
Function: adjective

1 : consisting of or resembling a romance
2 : having no basis in fact : imaginary
3 : impractical in conception or plan : visionary

When it comes to “being romantic” a lot of guys see the second and third definitions above as rather accurate – no basis in fact, and not practical. Romantic often seems to be a secret game – a game where only women have been given the rules. There often seems to be no logic in what is and is not romantic, and sometimes there seems to be a lack of constancy.

Maybe this will help: you know you want your bride to be openly sexual with you? You want her to initiate, you want her to plan, you want her to want and need you. If you tell her what you want, then it does not count, you want it to come from her, to come from a desire to bless you and to give to you. For women the desire for us to be romantic is a lot like that, but it’s not about sex – it’s about us thinking of them and doing things to show our love for them and our desire to be with them. For the same reasons you don’t want to give her hints about how to be sexual, she does not want to give you hints about what is romantic.

So how do you learn to be romantic if she won’t tell you what qualifies? Try asking her questions like “What are the three most romantic things I have done for you” or “What romantic things have guys done for your friends recently?” Listen well, and try to hear more than just the actions, try to discern the deeper meaning your bride feels in the things she says are romantic.  Keep adding information, and you will slowly become better at hitting the invisible target of “romantic”.

* Definition from the Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary

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