Have an abundant marriage

March 17, 2010

in Good Marriage, Marriage Killer

First, to give proper credit, this post was inspired by Abundance – How to Tap Into It from Gina Parris’ blog.

Want an abundant marriage? Then you need to:

  1. Choose who/ what you listen to: What we take in has far more influence on what we think and do that most of us want to admit. Take in a lot of negative things about marriage, or wives, or women in general, and it will hurt your marriage. Yes, this is tough, because it may force you to limit your time with certain people, and it will most likely influence your choice in entertainment. Is your marriage worth it?
  2. Choose what you delight in: Seeing or hearing something is powerful, delighting in it is far more powerful. Going to see a comedian who takes every possible shot at marriage, and laughing through the whole thing is going to hurt your marriage. Secretly revelling in the sexual escapades of a single friend is likewise harmful.
  3. Choose what you are meditating upon: This is deeper still – and thus even more powerful.  This is what we think upon, what we turn over in our minds. Here we have total control – no matter what comes into our eyes and ears, we have a choice about what we mull over and about what we refuse to think. Focus on the “bad” things your bride does, and she will seem worse and worse in your eyes.  Alternatively, focus on the good things she does (even if they are small and few) and she will seem better in your eyes. Likewise with marriage – do you think on the blessings of marriage, or do you focus on what it costs you? Same with sex – do you fixate on something your bride won’t do, or to you replay the things that she did that you enjoy?
  4. Choose what comes out of your mouth: Do work to not speak negative or hurtful things to or about your bride. However, the Bible tells us that what comes out of our mouth is coming from our hearts – so what you say it a reflection of the things above. If you have ugly or hurtful things in your heart, they are going to slip out eventually – in a moment of anger perhaps. Saying such things, or having to work to not say them, is a clear indication that you need to make different choices about what you take in, delight in, and think upon.

I posted this over at Gina's orignal post on this topic, but I'll repost it here. I sum this up in the addage "You become what you behold." If you surround and feed yourself with stuff that discourages, disempowers and detracts from a life of abundance, it's easy to see the negative fruit that will result. On the other hand, if you make a concerted effort on feed on life-giving, soul-lifting stuff and seek to find delight in the "right now" moment, how can you help but yield an abundance of positive fruit?

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