Rethinking what you believe

March 21, 2010

in Good Marriage, None of the Above

Recently I was talking with a fellow who minsters all over the world. On a recent over-seas trip he spent a full hour trying to get a group of leaders to see what a single scripture said. The difficulty was that they had a past teaching about the verse to which they kept defaulting. Eventually they got past that, and found a truth in the passage they had never before seen.

Of course, this is not just a problem “over-seas” – we all do it. The first thing we are taught about a scripture is going to come up every time we read that scripture. Even if what we were taught is right, it can get in the way of deeper truth; when what we were taught is wrong it’s far worse.

This same principle applies to things other than scriptures, and very certainly, it applies to what we think about marriage, and how a husband and wife should act towards one another. Our ideas about marriage come primarily from our parents, and are usually pretty well set in our minds long before we have any interest in being married. Even if our parents marriage was very good, what we learned by their example may interfere with our “getting it right”. Anywhere our parents had a problem, we are set on a course for the same problem, or a negative reaction that makes us wrong in the opposite direction.

I suggest you examine and rethink your ideas about marriage, about how you should treat your bride, and about what she owes you. Try to get past all the teaching and example and try to find the truth, the way a man and wife should act.




Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:


Are You Making Cupcakes Instead of Making Love?: A very good post about the danger, and harm, that comes from putting your kids ahead of your marriage. Intimacy in Marriage is a new blog (thanks to Stu of The Marry Blogger for pointing it out) that is aimed at women. Her goal is “Encouraging Christian Women towards Healthy Sexual Intimacy”. As some of you will want to pass some of her posts on to your bride, I will make mention of them here from time to time.
Don’t Tease. Unless You Will Follow Through: Another article from Intimacy in Marriage, telling wives not to sexually tease unless they are 100% dedicated to going all the way with it.

Finding Hidden Pictures: Some great ideas to help you find things in your bride you have missed.

Ten Questions Every Husband Should Ask His Wife Annually: This article from FamilyLife is not new, but it’s very good!

What’s Stopping You From Saving Your Marriage?: A good post about how fear of the unknown can stop us from having a better marriage.  Fits well with my recent Risk vs Loss post.

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