We often praise a single-minded man as one who knows his own heart and direction. But, what if single-minded is more like closed-minded? Making up our minds before we discuss things with our brides leaves them with no real choice; she must choose to go along, get out of our way, or argue with us. Not much of a choice.
I tend to think through things
a lot way too much, and often this means I have completely decided something before I share it with Lori. Even if I am still open to her thoughts, odds are she will say something and I will quickly explain why that won’t work. Having already considered all the options, I think I have all the answers. Even if I have all the answers (a rather big “even”) it looks to her as if I am not considering what she says. I seem to shoot down her thoughts before she even has them fleshed out.
On the other hand, since women are usually more verbal than men are, some guys feel run over when they discuss things with their wife. Working it out in their own head seems wise in that situation – unless doing so means her thoughts won’t be considered. Maybe there is a balance – getting a good handle on it in your mind before you discuss it with her, but not getting to a solution without her.