Outliers

April 13, 2010

in ~ list info, None of the Above

Outliers are individuals who are outside the majority in a statistical study. If you read the comments on this blog, you will see a number of posts from outliers – folks who want to say “Wait, not everyone is that way, I’m not that way!”

I fully understand this – it seems I am often be an outlier, and I have posted plenty of comments on other blogs to make it known that what was stated is not true of everyone. I suspect the outliers are far more likely to post than those who say, “Yeah, that’s me” or “My bride exactly.” That’s fine, but it means that the comments will be skewed in favour of those who are outside the norm.

The real point here is one my bride makes regularly on her blog – know your spouse and modify these tips accordingly. To try to be relevant to the majority, I post what is true for the majority. I need to be better about mentioning the exceptions, but even if I do, I can’t cover all the possible exceptions. So, outliers, keep posting your reality!

4 comments
The Generous Husband
The Generous Husband

@ hisfountain - Lori and I are outliers in many ways. In some things I tend towards the female, while she tends towards the male. What that means is that in some things we are in the area where the male and female bell curves overlap. I am very verbal for a guy, she is not very verbal for a woman. I think being outside the norm in many marriage issues has made us better at what we do in ministering to couples. Once we figured out that we were different, we started to assume others were as well. Of course this leads to me posting tips that work for most couples, but would not work for Lori and I. If I posted only what would work for me, I'd have a very small audience!

hisfountain
hisfountain

Great! There's a name for what I am! I feel so special! I guess I forgot this from my college days 20+ years ago. It's interesting that I'm an outlier and my husband is too. I guess that's the way it works most times. We're actually an outlier in almost every way. I'm identify with what is typically described as the "man" most times, and my husband fits the typical "woman" profile in many ways. The funny thing is I'm completely feminine and he's completely masculine. I mean he's the type of guy the other guys refer to as a "guy's guy! I told the story once on TMB of the moment I realized just how different we were. I was out of town on business and I called him one night and asked what he was doing. He said "I'm watching Jane Austen on PBS...something I never get to do when you're home!!!" Talk about things you never thought your husband would say!!! Funny thing is we were once talking about this and he said he could tell when I was 5 years old that I was different from other girls!! I think besides the whole opposites attracting thing, there is the fact that we're so different from our piers gives us something very much in common if that makes sense. In other words I didn't fit in with other girls and he didn't fit in with the guys, so we ended up hanging out with each other!!! Also, there's a reason I'm reading TGH blog! It also kind of works better this way! He sometimes reads Lori's blog and has actually used one of her ideas, and yep, I loved it. I would like to point out though that there are some ways we fit the stereotypes. He he is a male dominated profession and he does most of the handy work around the house because I'm not mechanically inclined whatsoever!

The Generous Husband
The Generous Husband

@michael - Right - because that includes the folks who have not had sex in several years, and the ones who do it less than a dozen times a year. Renumber from school how much a single zero grade killed your grade average? The other side of this is in some things, including sexual frequency, the average is not an indication of what is good or healthy, but rather simply an indication of what is.If you take in the average American diet, and get the average American amount of exercise, you will be averagely unhealthy and overweight. If you spend the average amount of time in pray and reading your Bible, you will be an average and wimpy Christian. Besides, who brags about being average?

michael
michael

Some years ago a survey came out that said something to the effect "on average most people have sex once a week". It took me a long time to explain to my wife that we should not strive to be average and that average does not mean normal for me.

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