By what standard do you judge your marriage?

May 3, 2010

in Good Marriage

By what standard do you judge your marriage? I sometimes hear “Our marriage has its problems, but compared to others …” In my mind, being better than average means very little – especially when the average is so bad. Marriage is in a sad state in most parts of the world, so average is hardly worth using as a standard. Beyond that, even if the average was not so bad, do you want to settle for average? Don’t you want your marriage to rock!? Don’t you want to have the best marriage of anyone you know, or at least be well on your way to that?

Low standards lead to low results – if you want the best, you have to aim for the best. Start by setting a standard – find a couple you admire, a couple who clearly love each other and deeply enjoying their marriage. Watch that couple, and learn from them. If possible, spend regular time with the couple. Then keep your eyes out for other couples who seem to have a good marriage. Add what you see to your standard, and continue to aim ever higher.

3 comments
stephen
stephen

I was just talkin to a buddy of mine about this the other day...specifically the way I judge myself as a man/husband/father. My wife and I have had some "intense fellowship" on many occasions about certian things I've said or activites I want to do (that honestly could have waited for a more opportune time, like hunting or fishing or hanging out with my buds; but I want to do it now); so she'll get upset and I'll start thinking, and a few times ACTUALLY said, but learned very quickly not to ever say again, "That she was very lucky to have a man like me," because (here comes the list): "I don't beat her, I don't smoke or drink, I'm a good Christian, I don't cuss or run around on here, I'm a pastor....I'm a good man...blah blah blah." And what it is, is pride. And when I judge/compare my values, behaviors, ethics, actions, and morals to other men, I do believe I am apart of a rare breed, BUT God has not called me to be like THEM, He has called me to be like CHRIST. So when I set my standards on how "other men are" my bar is set pretty low. However, the standard that Christ set for us to strive for is worth shooting for. And so is she.

Eleutheros
Eleutheros

You said: "...– find a couple you admire, a couple who clearly love each other and deeply enjoying their marriage. Watch that couple, and learn from them." I perceive that this is a truth for all areas of life. Except I would say attatch yourself to such a couple when you find them. For one thing they are rare. And for another thing, if they have a good marriage you can bet that they know they have a good marriage. Which means that they are good people. And good people, from my experience, will usually welcome, galdly and humbly, any who want to learn from them the ways of righteousness. So, be good! Just as you were created to be!

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