By what standard do you judge your marriage? I sometimes hear “Our marriage has its problems, but compared to others …” In my mind, being better than average means very little – especially when the average is so bad. Marriage is in a sad state in most parts of the world, so average is hardly worth using as a standard. Beyond that, even if the average was not so bad, do you want to settle for average? Don’t you want your marriage to rock!? Don’t you want to have the best marriage of anyone you know, or at least be well on your way to that?
Low standards lead to low results – if you want the best, you have to aim for the best. Start by setting a standard – find a couple you admire, a couple who clearly love each other and deeply enjoying their marriage. Watch that couple, and learn from them. If possible, spend regular time with the couple. Then keep your eyes out for other couples who seem to have a good marriage. Add what you see to your standard, and continue to aim ever higher.