Can she respect you?

May 5, 2010

in Communication, YOU4HER

Can your bride respect you? Do you stand up for her? Do you stand up for your kids? Do you do those things in a good way, or do you get angry and bully? A man who won’t defend his family, in a right way, when it’s appropriate, is not a man for whom a woman will feel love.

What about with her – do you stand up for what is right even when it means you have to disagree with her? If she lies, or treats someone badly, do you lovingly talk to her about it, or do you just ignore it so as not to upset her? A woman can’t respect a man who won’t stand up for what’s right – even when that would mean standing up to her. A woman may like not being confront by her husband when she is wrong, but in the long run she will so lose respect for him. If he keeps rolling over, she will lose all love and interest for him.

So, when it’s appropriate, take a stand with her – in as loving and gentle a way as you can.

3 comments
Eric
Eric

Interesting thoughts on respect. I would just add one thought, because I definitely am a type of a guy who would avoid confrontation. One reason why I have trouble standing up to my wife for the right reasons is the appearance of pride. While, you're right that it is important to stand up for what is right (even to your wife), the "holier than thou" attitude can do more damage than good in a relationship and there is a very fine line between the two. So if you can successfully walk that line, more power to you!

Eleutheros
Eleutheros

Well said! The only thing I would add is that for every good response you would desire from her, you need to be just as desirous to give that same response back to her. There have been many times my precious one has 'called me on the carpet' for something I said or did. (Shoot! Sometimes I even ask her to tell me if she thought I was right or wrong to do or say something! She is my best friend after all...) And so, because my usual response is to not take it personally- to shut up, listen and contemplate before I give her a reply- she does the same for me when I feel the need to approach her about an issue. And on those rare occasions when I'm pointing something out to her and I strike a nerve, leading to her 'taking it personally', I can gently and humbly remind her that I don't respond to her like that. Likewise, on those rare occasions when I, too, 'take it personally', she points that out to me and thus I know that I need to become aware of the fact that there is an issue in my heart-of -thoughts that is unresolved. She then, like I do for her, helps me seek the root cause of the issue (usually a thought-lie that sounds like the truth) and deal with it by replacing it with a truthful thought. In this way we are being good, while having our minds renewed, to become the good humans we were created to be.

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