Good husband, bad husband

May 19, 2010

in Good Marriage, YOU4HER

I show you the good husband and bad husband. Choose the good.

Did you know there is an epic battle going on inside you? A good husband and a bad husband are battling it out for control of you, and the power to bless or curse you bride.

Okay, maybe I’ve seen too many action movies – but I think the point if valid. On the one hand, we each have the potential to be loving, giving, caring, generous and selfless. On the other hand, we have the potential to be greedy, selfish, manipulate, controlling and spiteful.  If you listen, you can hear the fight within yourself at times. One voice is accusing your bride, taking the worst possible view of every word she speaks and every action she takes. The other side sees her through the eyes of love – giving her every benefit of the doubt, and loving her even when she is far from perfect.

If you don’t take an interest in this battle your mood and feelings will sway which you follow, and your bride will experience a confusing mix of loving and unloving behaviour from you. However, if you determine to resist the bad husband, and encourage the good husband, the war will cease to be a stalemate, and the good husband will take the upper hand. Some battles will still go to the bad husband, but those will become fewer and fewer.


One way that we've found of dealing with this, for there is also a good wife, bad wife and for all the same reasons, was to vow to each other that we would only allow 'soft' thoughts to rule our reactions to the other. This deffinately works, most of the time. And on those occasions when we discover, through a negative emotional reaction to something that was said or done, a previously undisclosed thought in our heart-of-thoughts that is not according to truth, we 'take a break' so that we don't hurt each other, beyond what may have already happened. Sometimes it took as long as a day before I was able to discover the thought and why it was there. Then we discuss it and resolve the issue through a prayerful acceptance of a truthful thought. We then apologize for any hurt and make love. The Kingdom of God is inside of the saints and it is... righteousness, peace and joy in holy spirit. Is it safe to say, then, that if you are not behaving righteously, knowing peace and experiencing joy, that you probably don't have holy spirit and thus the Kingdom of God inside of you? For righteousness, peace and joy are what we were originally created to know.

Lesli Doares
Lesli Doares

I love this post because it fits in so well with the concept of Self-Betrayal. We know what the right thing is but we choose the wrong one and then have to come up with justifications for our behavior. We don't do the dishes because our partner doesn't deserve help because he/she forgot my dry cleaning. All problems are my partner's fault so I'm off the hook of living up to the commitment I made. It's all about where we put our focus and energy--am I the partner I promised I'd be.

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