A couple of years ago I wrote a post about dishes – and how much I hated doing them. I mentioned that the sink was low where we lived, and doing dishes tended to make my back sore, but that this was not the real reason. I think I also confessed to doing “rinse and stack” as my part of doing the dishes, and I mentioned I’d done a lot of dishes during my work at a restaurant.
In the time between then and now, something has changed. Yes, we now have a place with a sink that is at a sane level for someone who is 6′ 2″, but again, that’s not really the reason for the change. Doing dishes honestly does not bother me the way it used to. I see they need doing, and I do them – no big deal. A few times my bride has gone to the bathroom after dinner, returned to do the dishes, and found me already doing them – even when I made dinner and could feel she was obligated to do the dishes!
Why the change? My best guess it that it is a natural outpouring of my love for my bride. I also think it is in part a result of that post I made a couple of years ago. While I did not feel like scum-on-a-stick for my lack of dish-washing, I did know my behaviour was less loving than I want to be towards my bride. I think identifying my actions as falling short of my goals started a change in me. Publicly conferencing my shortcoming no doubt also helped. In all honesty I did not work at this change, it happened over time with very little conscience effort on my part.
If you would like to make a change to be more loving, feel free to “confess” to all of us in the comments.