Plenty for everyone

June 1, 2010

in Beyond the Marriage, Quality Time

We have a humming bird feeder just outside the window of our office. It has two places from which to feed, and it has an endless supply of food; and yet, the hummers fight over it, chasing each other way, and sitting in sight of the feeder so they can “guard it”. I sometimes think they burn more calories fighting over the feeder than they derive from feeding at it.

Then I thought how we humans are so often the same way. Granted, we don’t find many endless supplies in our lives, but I think our fear of “not getting enough” often causes us to do things that are silly at the very least, and horribly destructive at the worst.

In particular, I have seen men who act as if their bride is in short supply, and if they don’t keep her to themselves she may run dry. Certainly, everyone has a limited amount of free time and energy, and certainly, family should get the lion’s share of that most of the time. Thing is, our relationships are two-way – we both give and receive. If I cut my bride off from others, if I limit her time away from me. I also limit her ability to receive from others, to be built up, and to grow. If she does not have enough time with others, she will become empty, and then she really won’t have enough for me, even if no one else is receiving from her.

So, don’t hold her too tightly, or too jealously.  What’s more, if she doesn’t have much time with others, I’d strongly suggest you support her finding ways to connect with others.

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