This is good for foreplay, or to bring her to climax before, after, or instead of intercourse. She needs to be fairly aroused before you start this, so make with the kissing and hugging, the breast play and some genital play before you move to this.
She will be on her back, you will be sitting on one side of her, legs in front of you and her body on the side of your dominant arm. Your hips will be about the level of her genitals along the length of her body. Part her legs moderately, rolling them out a bit. You are going to insert your pointer finger, while using your thumb on her clitoris. Bring your pointer up, as if you were trying to pinch her gently between your thumb and forefinger – this will simulate the area of her G-spot.
Tray a variety of strokes.
Your thumb can move in circles, back and forth, up and down, or press in and release. Try variations in speed and the firmness of your touch. Initially you will need to use a light touch and/or avoid being in direct contact with her clitoris. Placing your thumb to one side of her clitoris may work well, or above her clitoris.
Your finger inside can press or rub. Do circles, or back and forth. Vary pressure. Don’t worry if you can’t feel her G-spot, you are in the right place. If she feels uncomfortable, or feels she needs to urinate, back off. The urination urge should pass with time, especially if you give her good clitoral stimulation, and especially as she approaches orgasm.
Find a coordination of internal and external stimulation that works best for her. Does she want the strongest internal stimulation (pressing in) to match or counter the strongest point of the clitoral stimulation? Does she want the two at the same tempo, or does she want one double the speed of the other?
If you take her to climax this way, don’t be shy. Women can be over stimulated, but it’s not as significant a problem for them as it usually is for men. Her climax can be made longer by keeping the stimulation up until she lets you know to slow down or stop.
If you do this with good lighting you will have a very nice view. Watch how her vulva changes as her arousal level grows, and enjoy the feeling of her vagina clenching your finger as she climaxes.
Tomorrow: Pillows and grounding
Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:
The love and marriage bloggers were busy this week, with a record 17 links this week!
Great Anniversary Gifts Ideas & What to NEVER Buy Your Wife: Lori at Marriage Gems has a great post on what to buy and not buy your bride for your anniversary – and probably any other holiday know to woman.
Testosterone is Connected with Distrust: Marriage Gems also have a nice write up on a recent study about how testosterone affects us.
I Think the Proverbs 31 Wife Liked Being on Top: Stu, AKA The Marry Blogger, has fun making a great point about the biblical woman all other woman are compared to.
Need Money Help? Check out this Blog: The Marry Blogger also passes on a link to a good site that can help with money issues.
Marriage and Money: Do You Have a Plan? : This Simple Marriage post is spot on – without a plan, how can you get where you want to be?
A Frugal Marriage Equals More Passion: A great post on Simple Marriage about the joy of living below your means.
Do Opposites Attract?: Better Husbands and Fathers has a great post on the advantages of being different.
Love is…not irritable: Part of The Romantic Vineyard‘s ongoing loved is series. Should a say this one irritated me just a bit?
No Vision, No Restraint: Happily Married After has a post on having a vision. (Or call it a plan … do I see a theme here?
5 Ways to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking : Dustin at Engaged Marriage has some good tips on Nonverbal Communication – listen up!
Five Truths About Sexual Confidence: In my opinion, Julie Sibert of Intimacy in Marriage is one of the great new voices out there on sex in marriage. Her stuff is aimed at women, but I point out many of her posts so you can understand your bride better, and share with her as appropriate.
20 Little Ways To Save A Lot Of Money: Peace and Projects joins the money issues refrain of the week with some great ideas to save a few $$.
The Absolute Power of an Apology: Donald Miller discusses the blown call that cost Detroit Pitcher Armondo Galarraga a perfect game – and how it was handled so well by all involved. Can we learn to do the same in our marriages?
And finally, two posts each on two blogs, about headship and submission. I lean more in the direction of Scott, but Kathleen has some good stuff.
Scott, on Journey to Surrender said, among other things “The beauty of the bridal paradigm lies in what it calls you to give rather than what it permits you to demand.” Yes and Amen, Scott
The Bridal Paradigm – A Quick Reference On Surrendered Marriage
Giving or Getting
Kathleen of Project M gives us a painful look at the wrong way some men have done it. See why some women want to run when we say “submission”? I also like her advice to focus on the Scriptures that apply to us, rather than those that apply to our spouse.
Male Headship and Female Submission, Part One: The Bible
Male Headship and Female Submission, Part Two: Our Story