I recently read an article that said there has been a change in male adultery. In the past men mostly cheated for sex. They either wanted sex and went looking, or were willing to have sex and took advantage of any opportunity. Women, on the other hand, cheated primarily out of a desire to have intimacy or they cheated because they became so intimate with a man that sex became easy. Now it seems more and more men are going the female route – forming intimate relationships that eventually become sexual the sex is the result of the relationship, not the reason for the relationship.
It seems to me that intimacy is on a continuum, and that there is a point on that continuum where sex becomes natural. Actually more than natural – a couple reaches a point where it feels unnatural to not have sex. I recall this happening to my bride and me before we were married – and it pulled us where we should not have gone. I suppose it’s possible to reach the “sex is natural” level of intimacy and not have sex, but it seems rather unwise to be in the situation in the first place.
The reason given for the change in male adultery is the long hours men and women are spending working together, side by side, as equals. Odds are you spend more time talking with your colleagues than you do with your bride. You also work with them towards a common goal, which builds intimacy. If your bride is working alongside men, she has the same potential risk.
How do you deal with the situation? My best suggestion is to avoid ever getting close enough to an individual of the opposite gender that sex becomes a natural next step. In fact, I’d avoid getting even close to that level of intimacy. Yes, I realise that this may make you seen cold or distant. I can also see it being a disadvantage to you professionally or limiting your chances for advancement. On the other hand, maintaining a more professional relationship can have its pluses – especially in the eyes of your superiors.
The bottom line is this: which is more important to you – your job or your marriage? If you have to limit or risk one to guard the other, which will you choose?