See you after the Superbowl

August 20, 2010

in Acts of Service, Her Needs

Note for those of you outside the USofA: We are about to start “football” season. Yes, I know it’s not ball shaped, the foot is rarely used, and soccer is true football. Think of our game as handegg if it helps!

I will admit upfront that I am not a sports fan, so I don’t feel the pull to football that many of you do. However, I have heard plenty of women who feel they lose their husband for one or more sports seasons, and more than a few who think they are second to some sport in their husband’s priorities and love.

We only have so much time, and how we spend that time has a significant effect on all aspects of our lives – and our marriages very deeply impacted by our time use choices. If you are ready to watch just about any football game (or other sports game) that comes along, what is that communicating to your bride? Sounds to me like “I spend time with you when there are no games on”. On the other hand, if you follow a team, that at least looks like something less than “anything to avoid time with my bride”. Maybe I don’t get it, but my outsider perspective is probably close to that of women who have no interest in sports. Following a team makes sense, watching any lame game that is on does not.

If you have tended to neglect your bride due to sports, you can make her feel loved by finding a few occasions each season when you sacrifice your desire to see or hear a game to do something she really wants to do. Showing her she is that important can go a long way towards her being less grumpy about your sports time.

Think about this: If your bride has ever cited a lack of time with you as a reason for her lack of interest in sex, then putting much time into watching sports is only making the situation worse. Watch too much football and you will have less sex, or she will want and enjoy it less, or all of the above. Is it worth it?

Can you barter more sex for less football? Maybe – be honest with her about what you want, and get her to be honest with you about what she wants, and see if there is a change in time use that you both find favourable.

Bottom Line: If sports significantly and regularly cut into your time with your bride, it’s a problem. If you “have it under control” or if she is a fan as well and you watch together, it’s okay. Just don’t risk your sports widow becoming a sports divorcée!

5 comments
Fred
Fred

@shirl...I love football and I try very hard to not let my love for it ever effect time with my bride. I dont always suceed but seeing that is really the only sport I follow my bride is pretty understanding. she however has shared you're lack of "understanding" as to why it is something we men love or like. and you may be correct in the big picture of life football is minor and insignifigant, but in that same big pic. so is a million other things men and women enjoy and do( soap operas, reality shows, heck TV period, facebook, smoking, drinking..etc etc you name it. there are many things my bride watches and does I think are dumb..but it is her life and choice and as long as it doesnt hurt our marriage, or hurt her personally It is her choice...and vice versa....

Shirl
Shirl

I must say as a wife of a man that pretty much "hates" sports, I am thankful. I truly do not see the point in professional sports, especially for christians. It seems people rush around and are constantly complaining that they don't have enough time, yet find the time for something so frivolous. Spiritually speaking and also for our marriages sake, there must be other things that should be way more important than professional sports.

Gary duclo
Gary duclo

I like to think of chasing my bride as a sport,and with any luck we both will score

Eric - BHF
Eric - BHF

I love sports, but not enough to watch "any lame game." I have my teams and try to watch them as much as possible. This has caused tension before, but I do have to say that the DVR has done so much good for marriage! .-= Eric - BHF´s last blog ..Date Your Wife- Bringing Dinner Home =-.

Eddie
Eddie

Agree & Disagree: Yes I agree that men should pay more attention to their wives, and that putting them off until a season of a certain sport is over, but women have to do their part as well. 50/50 and sometimes 60/40 but then again switch that 60/40 around at times so every one is doing their part in a marriage....

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