Know when to walk away (and when to run?)

August 23, 2010

in Acts of Service, Seeing Clearly, Understanding Her

Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it. (Found anonymous around the Interwebs)

A very important marriage skill, and one that can be extremely difficult to learn, is knowing when to walk away. The reasons for doing this range from simply giving her space to enjoy something alone to getting out of her face before she screams things she does not mean – and quite a bit in-between.

No matter how much we love each other, there are times we need to be alone. There are also times when it’s difficult to impossible not being rude and nasty, and leaving someone alone at such a time is both loving and healthy for the relationship. Other times folks need alone time to figure out how they feel, what they are thinking, or what they want.

Wanting to be left alone for a bit does not mean your bride does not love you. Leaving your bride alone does not mean you don’t love her. Know when to hug, when to talk, and when to walk.

4 comments
Nicci
Nicci

I think this is good advice. Having alone time both when you are angry and simply need to cool off and other times when you are perfectly happy but need time to just have you time, or you and God time is healthy. I do however, think it is always the correct advice to not go to bed angry because the Bible says to not let the sun go down on your anger. Even if that means to apologize and pray that God helps take the anger away til you fall asleep. I know sometimes I'm too upset to actually converse with my husband, but because I am to obey God, I always pray that my anger goes away and I choose to forgive him so that I don't go to bed angry.

Eleutheros
Eleutheros

Truly, there ia a time and a season for everything we need to do and want to do under the heavens. A time to speak up and a time to keep silent; a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing... Wisdom is recognizing those times and responding appropriately. Something obvious, I know, but truth always bears repeating. Just like being good, because it is what we were created to be.

Lori Lowe
Lori Lowe

Definitely. It may even take until the next morning before both individuals are calm enough to discuss and make up. That's why I don't believe the advice "Don't go to bed angry" is ALWAYS correct. But be clear about the space you need rather than saying, "I don't want to talk about it." (and leaving) For me, at least, sometimes a good night's sleep takes the hostility out of a disagreement.

Favor
Favor

I agree! Sometimes walking away {temporarily} is the only way to calm down and not spin the situation out of control.

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