My bride ran a post recently entitled “What do you want“. It’s a good post, and I recommend you do what she suggests, but I’m going to go another direction.
Lori wrote that post during the day, then that same evening we watched an old Sci-Fi TV show – Babylon 5 – via DVD. In the episode, a man who looked human but was not human, was asking major players “What do you want”. The purpose of the question was to find the evil intents of those asked – to find the individual with the anger and bitterness needed to be used for something dark and sinister.
So my question to you is this – what do you really want in your marriage? What do you really want from your bride? What do you really want to do with, or for, or to her? Go ahead, take a moment, pray about it, and be completely honest with yourself. If you could have whatever you want, and if there were no bad results of having it, what would you want?
Odds are it’s not a completely pretty picture. Odds are also that you would never go there. The reason for the exercise is to know what is in you, and then to figure out what it says about you. The question that matters, the answer that can help you, is WHY you want what you want. What do your wants say about your past? Do they show places you are still hurt, or places where you say you have forgiven but you really have not? Are you looking for a mommy, or are you angry about how your mother treated you? Are doing or wanting things to retaliate, or to try and be comforted or justified?
What do you want? If you look deeply it may be a painful question, but it can also very helpful to work through the whys of the answers.