Don’t put it on the kids

August 25, 2010

in Communication

Have you ever tried to get your bride to do something or agree to something you want to do, by saying, “It’s for the kids” or “The kids want to” or “It would be good for the kids”? Even if what you say about the kids is true, you are being less than truthful with your wife if you are not upfront about you interest. Besides, she’s not stupid and knows what you are doing – and think how it makes you look to her.

By the way, if she will only do what you want if you guilt her with the kids, your marriage has problems that need to be dealt with ASAP.

2 comments
Luckierest1
Luckierest1

I think I must be doing something right since my kids will often tell me that my wife wants to do something. "Mom really wants to go out to eat after church today." "Mom, tell dad you would like . . . "

Eleutheros
Eleutheros

Besides, she’s not stupid and knows what you are doing – and think how it makes you look to her. Off topic a bit, but not: The advice against being less than completely honest, along with your quote above, led me to this thought: If you are a husband doing something wrong, especially if it's willfully deceptive and repeated (trust me on this), your wife knows. Just like you know when you are doing wrong because you have a conscience. And that is true for even the 'little' things as well. So, comprehend that her silence about the wrong things you are doing, no matter how clever you may think you are in your dealings with her, does not equate to ignorance or even stupidity. My experiences have taught me that women are never stupid, especially where relationships are concerned. But they can be in denial. And that is a lot worse thing for your marriage and her love than confrontation would be because, first of all, you will be led to think you are being successful in your deceptions and thus continue them, piling on more hurt and gathering to yourself scorn for the day when your deceptions are revealed. And secondly when she finally faces her denial, which she will, it could change whatever love she may still have had to hatred against you for her 'allowing herself to be deceived'. Honesty is indeed the best policy; and this is a most significant truth to practice in all you say and do with your wife. It's all a part of being good, just as you were created to be. :)

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