Loving on demand – a needed paradigm shift

September 1, 2010

in Her Needs, Series

Building here on something I found in Finding inspiration instead of it finding you by Seth Godin.

Seth suggests that inspiration is something we can learn to have on demand. We will it; we make it happen when we need it, rather than waiting until it “strikes”. No doubt, this kind of a paradigm shift requires some hard work at first, but I agree it is possible.

What does this have to do with marriage? I think what can be do the same thing with love, kindness, generosity, and other important acts of marriage – we can learn to will them into being when we want them. Don’t hope they will be there when she needs you to love her, train yourself to have these abilities ready on command.

We think nothing of doing what is needed at work, even when we don’t “feel like it”. Should our bride expect any less of us? I’m not talking about lying or even faking – just do what you know is needed because you love her enough to do so.


2 comments
Wilbur Holz
Wilbur Holz

I agree, we can and should do what needs to be done even if we don't feel like it. In the marriage vows couples promise to love, to do and say the things of love even if and especially when no one feels like it. It is amazing how doing those actions will bring blessings and the feelings. It is sad but true that the reverse can happen. The worse I treat my wife the more distant I can and will feel from here.

Eleutheros
Eleutheros

Very good pointe! I would add, from my own experience, that inspiration, the kind I think you are talking about, can, indeed, be trained in you to be there, when you need it. In other words, when there is a desire or a need or a problem inspiration, toward an expression, or a solution, or a resolution, can be trained to be there. And that part's not so hard. Really. Because don't we all have spirit and soul which makes us, sentient? And that from, Jehovah, Himself? The hard part, I found out, was in finding the motivation to realize the idea, rather than just letting it die, unrealized. That, to me, is where love comes in. And helps me to be good, just as I was creatd to be!

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