Having goals for our marriages can help us avoid problems by focusing us on what is important (that which moves us towards the goal) and that which is not (thing that move us away from the goal for no good reason). When I say goals, I don’t mean things like “I want my bride to …” or other “change her” goals – rather I mean goals the two of you agree to, and goals you set for yourself that are within your power to work towards.
A few ways your goals can help you judge various things:
- Is an argument about something important? Does it advance or hurt or hurt your goals? If it’s an irrelevant issue, then it does nothing to advance any positive goal and it’s probably best let drop.
- Are you putting a lot of time or energy into something that is leaving you with not enough time or energy to work towards your goals?
- Are you asking things of your bride that take from her time or energy she needs to work on your joint goals?
- Do you have non-marital goals that conflict with your marriage goals?
Additionally, do you have a good mix of short, mid-term and long term goals? Do your shorter term goals either compliment or not conflict with your longer term goals?